You Shall not Covet

September 26, 2015

I am 100% aware of the fact that I did not post a new post last Friday and yesterday. I had run into a writer's block and I didn't know what to post about.

     After reflecting over what had happened the past few weeks and looking back over the whole year I was in Uruguay, I noticed I had struggled with something. The tenth commandment that God had given us says,

     17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Exodus 20:17

     Even though I don't covet my neighbor's house, or wife, or servant, or ox or donkey, this had been my greatest struggle after leaving the United States to come live in Uruguay. Even though I made new friends and experienced new experiences in this new country, I couldn't help but feel nostalgic about being in Costa Rica or the U.S. Why is that you ask.

     Looking at pictures my friends post about homecoming, prom, and pep rallies, I can't help but want the community that they're in. Would I even have a graduating class? Would I be able to go to high school reunions in the future? I don't even keep in contact with my old classmates.

     I'm going to admit that homeschooling or online-schooling had been my toughest experience yet. I had to self-pace myself, be responsible for what I get done, and do my best not to procrastinate (the hardest). These, of course, help me as an individual, but all in all, it does get quite lonely.

     My biggest fear used to be drowning but now, it's being alone for the rest of my life. Imagine having no friends (even if you do, you only see them once a month), being alone for twenty four hours, and always having to be told "I'm busy." The little voice in the back of my mind doesn't help either since it makes me question myself as a person.

     But what I do know is that I'm actually not alone. Even if I don't have friends that contact me at least once a month, I still have God. He has constantly reminded me to look to Him and pray to Him whenever I am in need. I have always put him off because I was "studying" or "doing something that I enjoy," but I really need to think about Him.

     In Philippians 4:8 it says,
"...Think about what is lovely and worthy of respect.
               If anything is excellent or worthy of praise,
     think about those kinds of things."

     I've learned that I need to be optimistic and instead of looking at what I don't have, I need to look at what I do have. Although I am alone, I have had plenty of time to self reflect and think about the importance of life (that's deep bro) and I have come to the conclusion that I need to let go of what isn't important and hold on to what is important.

     Using what I do have, I need to do my best.

     Here's a praise: My mother and I finally got our sedulas/visas after a year of being in Uruguay!